The Ursuline Chronicle

You won’t find these in the actual handbook

Kylie Nocket (with assist from AP Lang), Staff writer

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Aside from the warm cafeteria muffins that define the Ursuline experience of countless souls who walk the halls of Ursuline, there is a distinct… vernacular language, if you will, that accompanies the plaid skirt we put on each and every day. These terms and truths create a sort of alternate handbook.

January 22nd- Nexus of all important UA events:

St. Angela Day; Senior skits; Firefly lineup drops

Third floor bathroom– best selfie lighting

Senior Skits- when every faculty member mentioned in said skits goes home and questions all life choices; occasional tears from victims

Elena Delle Donne- unofficial patron saint… “Saint Angela watch over all our days, Saint Ursula protect our future, Elena Delle Donne protect our basketball team.”

“Insieme”– that most beloved song we still haven’t figured out how to sing

Heart palpitations-  condition especially found among those who don’t study for history test

Formal Uniform Day- the day where every sweater is fair game

Staples- the proper way to hem a skirt

Fall fling – new name for Hoco, get yelled at by StuCo if don’t call it that

Pasta wednesdays – the only day you eat during second lunch because you waited in line through all of first lunch #doitfortherotini

B+– a veritable failing grade; avoid at all costs and complain bitterly to teacher if received

Sunny days/ warm weather– when any ground space outside becomes tanning bed, followed by an email from administration telling all participants that said actions are not permitted. Rolling of skirts and pulling down of socks required in order to maximize tanning time.

Personal space- no definition; Ursuline girls recline in overlapping fashion

The Nook– the space in the hallway between two walls where the sophomores eat, sleep, and breathe; only space relegated to sophomores; only ANYTHING relegated to sophomores

Smounge– the smell in the lounge that no amount of Febreeze can kill

SCHNEIDER – a greeting; what one yells when they see the math department head

Flex- 40 minute morning lengthener; opposite of “a free”

Alma mater- NOT A CHANT (You know you just clap chanted “Alma Mater Alma Mater” in your head)

Locker room- dressing room, hair salon, and beauty parlor. Ideal place to try on Hoco Fall Fling dresses, get haircut

SA day- the day that never ends #8thperiodyall

Parking– nonexistent after 7:01 am

Counseling office- always a sauna

Staircases – similar to climbing Mount Everest; UA’s secret athletic conditioning system

Long lunch table – where every single freshmen sits at lunch each year

Lifer – student who has attended Ursuline Academy since birth, has never come in contact with a boy

Pandas – also known as the girls from “that school up the street”

Raider- unknown

Salesianum– those boys everyone tells you not to date but you end up crying over (I am not crying; you’re crying)

Salsthon- characterized by the merciless manner in which teachers like to remind you on Monday morning that you “didn’t have to go” and it’s “not an excuse for being sleep deprived”.

Point to Point- If you aren’t there you most likely don’t exist, rumored there are horses there but sources tell us said horses have never been seen in attendance

Ring Day- equivalent of Mr. P’s birthday

Sister Betty- world traveler, Snoopy lover, Notre Dame’s human mascot; one of the only people who can pronounce Medjugorje right

Tammie Sylvia- Ultimate booster; never seen not smiling ear to ear, cheers whether someone wins a writing contest or answers a question

“I didn’t recognize you”- what teachers say to us, especially at dances, when we have showered, applied make-up, brushed hair, etc.

This dictionary- legendary

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The Ursuline Chronicle:The student news magazine of Ursuline Academy
You won’t find these in the actual handbook